Piecing Yourself Together, One Cup Of Tea At A Time

I drink cup after cup of tea, trying to write this essay that I just can’t focus on. My mom is in the hospital, and I can’t focus because I know the problem isn’t just that her foot got broken and then infected. The problem is, she told me it was gout, and she broke her foot, and because I was living at my dad’s after getting a theater gig closer to his house, she got so depressed she stopped taking care of herself.

I know that’s not my responsibility; I know I shouldn’t be that worried — but I am worried. I can’t focus on a story I pitched on my cell phone from a hospital waiting room. What I do know, though, is that this teapot full of tea is the thing I need to stay afloat. I know that, although I don’t have a semblance of a self-care routine that I obviously need, I know that tea is the thing that can save me. Tea is what can take me out of my autopilot, unemotional, I’m-gonna-call-911-and-insurance-and-everyone-don’t-worry-just-please-do-not-hug-or-try-to-comfort-me state… and bring me back to life.

Tea may not fix the world, but it can help you take a break from it.

We all know the basics: Green tea prevents cancer. Black tea does tons of great things for high blood pressure. Many teas help with focus and retain things you learn. And, oh look, there’s another Chinese tea that tastes horrible but helps you lose weight. Yeah, yeah — forget all of that.

The most important thing about a cup of tea is how you feel drinking it. There’s a line in “Family Guy” where after Peter spends a day actually taking care of the house and kids because Lois got a job: “Between doing the laundry and vacuuming, I barely had time to put on a nice sweater and clasp a cup of tea with two hands.”

Seth McFarland gets it. There’s nothing like holding a steaming cup of tea and watching the sweet, musty steam rises up before taking that first sip. That mug of tea becomes your world. A cup of tea, whether shared with a group having cookies and jam, or sitting alone with a sweater trying to take account of your life, is essential for revival.

And it really depends on the tea. I know there’s the debate of “if it’s not made with a tea leaf, it’s a tisane, not a tea,” but we’re not gonna split hairs here. Different brews of whatever is in that bag or infuser are good for different occurrences. Some crises call for black; others for green; some even call for flower teas.

Black tea is for hard times. That’s why it’s called “full bodied.” It can handle all manner of stress and is hearty enough to take milk and sugar. To make black tea, the leaf is crush and dried and that allows enzymes occurring naturally in the leaves to convert some of the catechins of the tea leaf which creates that dark and strong flavor. That way, no matter how much the world presses on you, the flavor from that pressure can help you leave unharmed (well, mostly).

I drank black tea in styrofoam cups the day my grandma died. Our aunt was on the way to New Jersey, and the other siblings didn’t want them to take the body away before she saw it. We sat by her and talked as the nurses brought cookies. We poured cup after cup as I tried not to look at my grandma’s still open mouth. I drank tea and shook my head as my aunt begged me to touch her, saying that she was still warm. We drank black tea and talked about something else.

Green tea, on the other hand, is simply steamed and dried. This purer form of tea puts things into perspective. Weeks ago, I sat outside of a theater, a steaming cup of green tea in the lid of my sister’s borrowed thermos. It was too hot; I blew on it and waited for the cold air to take it before drinking. I immediately felt the warmth and mildness of the green tea spreading to my fingers and toes, and the fog in my brain vanished. That’s what green tea does — the light level of caffeine creates certain clarity that can allow you to see things as they are. That morning, I was able to see that it was going to be okay. It was going to be stressful, but there was going to be a way through it.

Herbal teas are complicated. They often have nothing to do with steaming or crushing or drying, but the flowers can take help bring you back to life. Chamomile is a flower that can calm you down, rose buds can help flush toxins from the body and lily tea can help your skin. Pu Erh is a fermented tea leaf that can help with your diet, and there are many other varieties can help with appetite.

Mixing spices and teas can only help with revival. Whether you buy a blend or mix your own, I remember when my aunts would mix cardamom, black tea, chai, heavy cream and a variety of spices in a giant pasta pot on the stove before straining it into cups for me and the other cousins. It was warm and spiced and beautiful and I can’t remember a happier time. Mixing tea, whether with black or green and different herbals, is for togetherness. Like the mixed ingredients, it’s about mixing the things you love and need and making things good.

Whatever the tea, I know tea has the power to revive me.